What’s that saying? “If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it?”
Lately that keeps going through my head. I can’t turn it off.
Never been a secret, my first priority has always been my 2 sons. I’ve had to do whatever I thought was best to make sure they didn’t derail after losing their dad in middle school. Honestly I’ve never felt sorry for myself about being a widow, but my children being fatherless now is an odd type of guilt I’ll never shake. All I could do was pray that the time they had with him is remembered and create the best “new normal” I could. It will be a lifelong job of mine. I’ve accepted that.
In the midst of all of that I had to figure out things for myself too. This wasn’t how I imagined life being. My husband and I had plans. But cancer. I learned the rug can get jerked from up under you at any moment. One of the worst lessons ever.
I had to rediscover myself, reinvent myself, and remember not to be so hard on myself about some of the decisions I made. Things you do while feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders should automatically get an asterisk.
For some reason the past few weeks have been a series of lightbulb moments. One after another. Organic connections that lead me to believe that none of it was by chance. Simply put, it’s timing.
People ask me what I do and I sometimes think it’d be easier to list what I don’t do. Technically:
I’m a connector. I intrinsically know who should know whom and facilitate what’s needed to bring them together. The goal? A beneficial introduction for parties involved, business. And speaking of parties, I’ve been known to host private dinner parties to bring groups of these people together…because synergy over a great meal is amazing to experience.
I’m a consultant. People hire me to help them develop business ideas. Branding, social media, copywriting, etc., it goes hand in hand with the connecting part. I love watching someone’s business idea go from concept to fruition with my help.
I’m a cancer advocate. I share with others my family’s experience of life before, during and after cancer. I raise awareness for cancer related initiatives. I fund raise for cancer patients and their families. I want to empower those who can relate to our experience, especially caregivers who are often overlooked. With my late husband being a former NFL player, that adds an extra layer to my story. I feel like I could be the poster child of doing everything by the book, having life turn upside and then getting a lot of on the job training when it comes to the bounce back. It’s been quite the journey.
I’m a radio show co-host. On Sunday’s I get to talk a little sports. The show is The G.A.M.E., Golf & More Experience on FM 103.5… Golf is not my forte, I’m the “and more experience” part of the show. Having been on the “other side” of sports, I gladly offer up my opinion, which is different from most journalist and fans.
It’s last quarter of 2015 and I’m so excited about 2016 it’s scary. My baby will graduate from high school and I’ll become an empty nester. Ready for another leg of the journey I didn’t picture being this way, but that’s okay…
“What are you going to do with all of that dark? Find a way to glow in it.”